Back in black….

After a month’s break, i am finally back on my pump.
I will be honest, i was scared to go back given all my issues previously but my DSN gave me some new cannulas which seem fine *touch wood* apart from bleeding out from a cannula less than 24 hours old.

I feel happier to a degree because i can control my basal easier & im using less insulin compared to MDI (yes that is a selfish reason) but i hate taking 14u if my bloods are normal for breakfast on the pump compared to 20u on MDI #yesimselfishandvein.

So heres to round 2 on my pump…

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I did kinda sing on the 5th day of christmas my dsn gave to me….
New cannulas!!!

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Note to self, putting a cannula in your leg is fucking uncomfortable…

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Now readers please, dont get jealous of my sexy six pack…. 😄😄

Sarah Wilson please stop.

Diabetogenic

I’m going to start by being honest and telling you that I think Sarah Wilson is an idiot. Her whole I Quit Sugar bullshit is nothing more than a moneymaking scam, and I will never understand why she thinks her D-grade celebrity status gives her any credibility when it comes to offering health advice.

But today, she has gone from being just a misinformed fool to an absolute troll. Because surely, that can be the only reason she would write that autoimmune conditions are all caused by self-hatred.

Oh yes she did.

Read this. I really don’t want to promote her stupid rantings, but read it. Read the ridiculous rhetoric. Read the assumptions. Read the complete and utter lack of anything resembling evidence. Read that this thoughtless opinion was a result of watching a TED talk given by Dr Habib Sadeghi, a so-called ‘healer to the stars’.

In…

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MDI -V- insulin pumps, the verdict

This has been one of the highest profile cases in law since Smith -V- Blogs*.

Ill be reporting on the verdict of MDI -V- Insulin Pumps, i promise dear reader i wont complicate the matter by using latin or legal terms but i may use Yorkshire to get my point across.

So its been 7 days since i went on my pump break with the hope of finding out was the insulin pump was really for me.

Well ladies & gentlemen, im about to list some of the key issues involved in the case

MDI
I feel/look normal.
My GP can & will muck up my insulin order.
My legs & stomach are painful post injections & are highly bruised.
Im hardly within range at the moment.
Only 2 hypos so far.
But & this is one of the biggest issues for me, my insulin requirement has gone up by 20%.

Insulin Pump
I have it attached for 23 hours a day.
My GP cant muck up my insulin order.
I can control my background insulin easier with TBR’s when required.
I use a lot less insulin compared to MDI.
Its hard to forget it compared to pens.
But & this is the biggest issue for me, im leaking nearly every bloody day

And im sad to say but ive hated the last 7 days on MDI but yet i did it for nearly 10 years without issue.

I honestly dont know what i want from my diabetes management anymore, part of me wants to be admitted to hospital to sort out my feelings on my diabetes management & the other part just wants to stop being a pin cushion & stop taking my insulin all together.

I would love to use my pump to control my background & corrections but use my pen to inect for my meals which would mean divorcing lantus insulin.
I suppose i could ask if i could do that management system as well as ask if i could take part in the smart insulin trials or alternatively i could ask for a diaport.

*its a made up case name, i would never use a named & cited case to get my point across.

16 hours on

well i survived the night without my pump.
i must say i was really worried about what was going to happen in my sleep incase i had a lot of fast acting on board.

from 8pm sunday night, its gone like this

8.50pm – 7.1mmol
10.17pm (went to bed with my split of lantus) – 8.4mmol
1.04am – 4.0mmol (I had 3 jelly sweets)
4.47am – 7.8mmol
7.27am (when I got up with my split of lantus) – 10.6 mmol
10.05am – 15.9mmol
12.19pm (lunch time) – 14.0mmol

i have felt off it to be perfectly honest, i dont know if its because i have no “working” background in my system yet or what.

but can i ask, please can i have a working pancreas now????

Breaking (diabetes) bad

I came to the decision a few weeks ago to have a pump break but had decided that i would use up my open pump supplies first.

After yet again a leaking cannula less than 24 hours old, it took me all my time not to cry, rip my cannula out & throw my pump against the wall.

As of 8pm tonight i have decided that i am now taking my pump break.

And im absolutely terrified of going back on my pens but after nearly 12 years of this fucking disease i crave, no better still i want an easier life with my diabetes, part of me even wishes for mixed insulin 2 times a day.

Going on a break is no way failure on my part but i need a break from the pump problems im having & maybe it will help my depression, (i am in no way blaming my diabetes as a cause of this depressive period).

I hope going back is as easy as leaving MDI behind when i went on my pump.

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Diabetes awareness month

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Well November is diabetes awareness month & on 14th November its world diabetes day (WDD).

I shall be, like my pancreas challanged world wide family standing tall with my insulin & saying diabetes screw you (and ending the day with a curry at a retirement thank you meal).

The picture i have chosen as my header made me smile as the 3 little people show the 3 faces of diabetes we all put up with every day (well not every day but you know what i mean).

I find it sad that there has to be a month dedicated to diabetes awareness, in my mind everyone should be aware of the signs of diabetes as it may save someone’s life.

So i am going to highlight the key signs right now

■ passing urine more often than usual, especially at night.
■ increased thirst.
■ extreme tiredness.
■ unexplained weight loss.
■ genital itching or regular episodes of thrush.
■ slow healing of cuts and wounds.
■ blurred vision.

please if anyone you know is showing several of these signs, get them to the doctors or hospital you may save their life.

time to break free???

this is a topic which some may argue with me over my choices & i dont wish to engage in an argument with anyone over what i do with my diabetic care.

i’ve thought about this for a while but i want a pump break.

if that means a break for a month while i figure out if pumping is really for me or a divorce style situation but without the cost, then so be it.

i’ve been pumping 13 months now & yes i’ve had problems (please see my anniversary blog) but more problems are developing & i’ve had enough of it all especially the more recent issues of….
the leaking cannulas gets me down & is embarrasing when in public & it goes onto my clothing.
the hypers from cannula changes
my skin, i have noticed for a few months that my skin around my cannula sight when removed is bright red & the skin has come off with the sticky pad

i love the fact i look normal without having to inject in public but the beeping/vibrating boobs does cause looks when my pump tells me there is an issue.

i’m nervous about going back on my pens as it feels like a step back in my diabetic care but until that cure is here (dont forget its only 10 years away) i need to find a insulin therapy that makes me happy as no longer taking my insulin isnt an option

Looking back at my year of pumping: what I have learned and what I didn’t expect

12 months ago on the 3 September 2013 (the day before my 26th birthday), I walked into Manny Cussins diabetes centre in Leeds for another junction in my diabetes road map.

Along with 3 other people (and one wife), I jumped on the diabetes bus & soon arrived at junction Insulin pump.
After learning how to fill a reservoir, what we need to order, when to order supplies *note keep an eye on what you have not what you think you have*, our account number with Accu-Chek, what was in all the boxes in front of us, when to change the batteries in our handset & pump, how to change a cartridge & how to prime our tubing line.
Then it was time to do my first cannula, as the only female in the group the blokes were asked to leave the room while one of the wife’s of the men in the group & the Accu-Chek rep helped me put the cannula in & it didnt hurt!!! hallelujah!!
Then once everyone was back in the room & cannulated it was time to take the plunge & connect to our pumps (our basal profiles were already set on the pump & handset as were our ratios & sensitivity ratios), I tested my blood sugars & corrected (I was in the 9’s at the time) using the handset & then I was released from hospital (after my DSN said she would ring me the next day to check I was ok) & was suddenly #pumpinganddangerous

Ok my bloods werent perfect to start, my bloods were high but what do you expect? I’d had half my lantus insulin that night & none in the morning.

First night was ok apart from the occlusion in the middle of the night, wow my pump can wake the dead!
Also the safety limit on my boluses were too low so I couldnt have the correct amount of insulin without repeated boluses (and noone wants to stack insulin).

I dont know what everyone else was like the first time they had a cannula in but I avoided everyone & everything, in fear that I would catch my tubing or cannula & rip it out (the only known enemy to them is door handles….)

It took a while to get a rhythm with Jerry who is my third insulin therapy in nearly 12 years.
Now its a cannula change every 2 days not every 3 days as I find I either leak on day 3 or have an infection (mmmmm pumpers custard…..not!!) & new cartridge every 2-3 days. This is my life now on a pump, no new needle each injection, carrying new cartridges of novo rapid or lantus incase I may run out, no air shot in public with on lookers thinking what the ????

One thing I have noticed due to my job (i’m a barristers clerk for my sins & sometimes have to attend court). You must let security know you are a pump user. They have had me walk up to the body scanner, sticking my hand down my cleavage various times to produce Jerry. Security now know i’m hiding a pump down there & are nice about it.

Now where to put your pump is harder, i’m not a gorgeous size 8 model but a tall curvy woman. At work Jerry goes in a carry case held around my neck but for bed time Jerry likes to roam free & boy is he one naughty pump, he’s known to jump out of my top onto the mattress, floor or down the side of the bed #ouch

In 12 months i’ve had :-
Bleeding cannulas
Leaking cannulas
Cannula site infections
Blood in my tubing
Hypers
Hypos
Bruises
Pain from cannulas
I’ve had pump “failure”
Various occlusions (mainly at night)
Cartridge/cannula changes while half asleep

Yes a lot has gone wrong in 12 months but I dont think i’d give my pump back, its the closest thing I will ever again have to a working pancreas.

Yes I have a huge pump manual & text books but like any diabetic would tell you (or I think would tell you), life with diabetes isnt textbook. The disease doesnt behave how an author in a book writes about it, it reacts to everything & anything that gets thrown at the diabetic.
We test multiple times, we try EVERYTHING & ANYTHING so we can try to attempt to have an easy/normal life, we ask other diabetics what they would do & if it fails – we didnt fail, it just didnt work this time.

Jerry as I type is currently nestled between my boobs in the vague hope of performing the great escape (am I the only one who hears the music & pictures my pump holding a spoon digging for freedom? Nope? Just me then).

So thats my first 12 months of pumping & heres to the next 12 months (unless the cure comes before then).

Byline by Jerry
Hello dear readers.
You all know a bit about me from Laura’s ramblings (sorry I mean blogs) but i’m not as bad as she makes out. I’m a young pump, I just wanna have fun!
What Laura said about me planning the great escape, is true but dont tell her #diggingforfreedom
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