Oh what a night

Well last night was fun (said with a hint of sarcasm).
Went to bed about 10.30pm after a shocker of the vampire diaries & corrie.
Was in low double figure with 2u on board so i wasnt worried.
Woke up gone midnight & felt funny (in the only way a diabetic can). Tested & id gone up into the 12’s, hmmmmm time to correct & go to sleep.
Woke up just before 4am & thought god i feel sick/need a wee/i want a drink.
Thought hmmm. whats going on blood sugar wise??
Tested, id gone higher (cue swearing) then i noticed my cannula was bleeding & there was blood in my tubing #bollocks
Full set change done, time for new insulin (incase blood had got higher than i thought), corrected by syringe, 3 glasses of water, bucket by my bed & text my mum to say i was poorly. Sorted i thought, what had i missed? Oh yes ketone check – damn ive got blood ketones.
Woke up for work at gone 7am felt no better #damn
Bloods had come down but was higher than id like but still better than before, blood ketones 0.1 (better) but i still feel sick.

There are times as a diabetic i think why??
But as i lay on the sofa with my meters, water & bucket, i think it could be worse….

I miss you

Some people who know me, know ive had a rough week.

On monday i learned my colleague of nearly 6 years was missing.

On thursday morning as i walked into work, i learned his body had been found.

I dont know how to vent my anger that i wont see him having a fag outside with his eyes closed
or see him walk through the door
or roll his eyes when i asked a question when he was busy or hear his voice
or see an email from him
or how much you hated doing secret santa but you looked fab in your santa onesie

I miss you jason, it feels like its all a sick joke that youll walk through the door on tuesday & say to everyone to stop being silly that you just needed some time out.
I feel lost & numb when i see your empty desk.

I hope you are at peace & can see how much we all miss & love you.

RIP jasey baby

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My favourite things from #dblogweek

Well its sunday 18th may which marks the last day of #dblogweek.

Ive never been involved or heard of it until i joined twitter then on monday 12th may, i saw all these blogs pop up.
Kev of circles of blue blog told me what it was all about & i must say ive never enjoyed blogging so much without feeling so self concious about what im writing.

I cant pick a favourite blog as they were all so good from Annie (understudypancreas) letting 10 year old pumplette take the reins & saying her views to the grumpy pumper putting a frown on it all to kev (circles of blue) as a parent of a cwd.

The common theme ive got from #dblogweek is that we all want a cure but more importantly we have diabetes but it doesnt have us.

Keep calm & blog on shall be my new motto & hopefully it wont take til #dblogweek 2015 to post my next blog

diabetic snap shots

Todays blog will be less hard to write, to say how i truely feel.
This is my life in pictures, ive met some great people with jdrf & #ourd on twitter

These guys keep me alive & im thankful for the nhs
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These guys from jdrf’s type 1 parliament & twitter make me smile (even the grumpy pumper)
We must all remember no matter how lonely we feel with our non diabetic friends & family, we arent alone because we have each other…..

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its a hard knock (diabetic) life


Share the (non-medical) tips and tricks that help you in the day-to-day management of diabetes. Tell us everything from clothing modifications, serving size/carb counting tricks to the tried and true Dexcom-in-a-glass trick or the “secret” to turning on a Medtronic pump’s backlight when not on the home-screen. Please remember to give non-medical advice only! (Thank you Rachel of Probably Rachel and Kelley of Below Seven for this topic suggestion.)

 

things that my diabetic life “easier”

  1. i always have a bottle of lucozade & a tub of sweets by my bed & also in every room of my home (and handbag!) as you never know when those peasky hypos will hit!
  2. i wear a bright pink medical alert “i run on insulin” bracelet from Pump Fashion (http://www.pumpfashion.com/shop/75-adult-i-run-on-insulin-wristband).
  3. i have plasters & wipes in my meter case incase i need them from leaking/bleeding cannulas.
  4. i also carry rock tape for lifting cannulas (thank you to Annie from the understudypancreas for that tip!)
  5. as i like to always be prepared – i carry a make up bag kit of cannuals, cannula inserter, syringes, lift plus spray (to help with cannula removal), spare batteries for pump & meter as well as an empty cartridge. Pickfords wont beat me at carrying items!
  6. i also could beat boots with the amount of medical supplies i have – i dont ever want to be caught short (due to gp’s neglect or me forgetting or if accu chek are short on supplies)

tell me a story (wildcard)

Write a short story personifying a diabetes tool you use on a daily basis. A meter, syringe, pump, pill, etc. Give it a personality and a name and let it speak through you. What would it be happy about, upset about, mad about? (Thank you Heather of Unexpected Blues for this topic.)

 

hello my name is Jerry & i’m 7 months old.

i’m laura’s pump, i dont know why she called me Jerry – think its some reference to her diabetes being called Tom as well as a cat & mouse.

i like the fact that i can keep laura safe during the night & she has had hardly any hypos in her sleep since she got me as well as the fact i’m flexable compared to her regime on MDI.

the things i really hate about living with laura are

  1. she tries to kill me in my sleep with her boobs, she just puts me down her top at bed time & i cant breathe!!!!
  2. she complains when i’m hungry & want more insulin late at night or in the very early hours of the morning.
  3. she goes for a bath or a shower & stops me! i cry for her to come back but she ignores me, she is VERY mean!!

anyway its lunchtime & i’ve got a very important job to do!!!

Mantras not tantrums

Yesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets us through a hard day. Or more specifically, a hard diabetes day. Is there something positive you tell yourself? Are there mantras that you fall back on to get you through? Is there something specific you do when your mood needs a boost? Maybe we’ve done that and we can help others do it too?

 

what gets me through a hard day? a good old fashioned alcoholic drink *hick*

i joke…

 

the main thing i think of is that despite how hard my actual job is/mentally exhausing/complicated etc is that i’m keeping myself alive & thats the hardest job of all.

i have my career in law as a barristers clerk & i also have the job of being my own pancreas (no pay & no damn holiday – surely there should of been a tribunal hearing by now on employment regs?!?!?!)

what brings me down

Today’s topic is the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes.

What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and/or your loved one, and how do you cope?

 

 

living with diabetes was never going to be easy & maybe aged 15 when i was diagnosed, i didnt understand that. i just kinda hoped it went away….

things that really get under my skin are

people’s hurtful (sometimes abusive comments) when i check my blood sugars or inject

idiot gps who refuse insulin/test strips etc as apparently you dont need any yet….

people who eat or hide my hypo treatments, go on laugh – you’ll be explaining to the paramedics when i collapse

comments of –
you cant eat that (well who made you the diabetes police?)
can i catch it from kissing you? (said on a date – safe to say that there was no second date)
is type 1 the really serious type?
you dont look diabetic (and you dont look like an idiot)
oh my friend has that & doesnt do what you do

i’m human – sometimes it upsets me that i have to be this way through no choice of mine.
best way to get into a happy place when the bullshit is flying
easy…
talk to someone who understands
watch a really funny film – the hangover is a fave
listen to your favourite song – this song reminds me of D (your no good for me….) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svJvT6ruolA

or if all else fails – hit a punching bag which i love to do

the diabetic poet…

today is poetry for #dblogweek & my english teachers would probably laugh at this so here goes

 

there once was a girl called laura

who joined an unlikely group

it wasnt one she asked for

but as her clothes grew big

her appetite grew small

in her bed she would lay, tired as tired can be

running to the toilet all night

drinking the water supply dry
not even yorkshire water could keep up with her thirst

her mum pondered that something wasnt right

one fateful night it was confirmed

that diabetes had joined the family

only noticable by the bitter smell left on her skin from the insulin

as well as the hypos and hypers

 

11 years have passed since that fateful night

but remember folks

the cure is only 10 years away

change the world

As part of #dblogweek im joining in.

What would i do if i could change the world diabetes wise?

Easy get rid of diabetes, all 5 types of it…..

Id like more & better awareness of all types – not just type 2. #betypeaware

Id like the media to report the actual facts & clarify what type they are discussing.

Id like diabetes stigma to go back to the ignorant person who first started it. #karma

Id like the ignorance/dirty looks/comments to STOP!!

Id like better access to pumps & cgm’s.

Id like (like im sure many would) to know what caused our diabetes.

As part of JDRF’s #countmein campaign, id like the government to increase funding again so that one day, we’d have a cure.

A selfish reason but as a woman who dreams of a family one day, i hope that any child i carry is healthy & normal despite the risks i face to be a mother & that any child i have doesnt have to live how i do.